Another attempted meet up

Another failed attempt to get Femme 15 together. Was hopeful when the replies on Tuesday was all positive. However, wasnt surprise of the turn up at the 11th hour. No finger pointing k. Im to blame too. Once upon a time. hehe..

Anyway I miss you guys loads. Missed a few birthdays already and thought of celebrating Linda's one too though it was too far away. Never knew when the next meet up is.

Well i got news to break to you guys. Sad sad news. The four of you meant the world to me. My real friends. Everlasting. Tested and proven to withstand the test of time. So I figured I better tell you guys in person. But then again time didnt permit. Soon you will be receiving an sms from me. It will shock you but I cannot avoid it any longer.

These are all of Allahs' test to me. I have gone through the period of mourning, denial, regret and now finally I have accepted it. Its difficult to be strong especially when you failed time and again. The past year was a very rough one for me. None of you knew except maybe Sab who I hinted a few times. I myself didnt know this was coming. It just slapped me hard in the face.

Maybe I am just a failure. A dissapointment. I apologise that all your hardword and help rendered that particular night 2 years ago was put to waste. I am so sorry. I too disappoint you. Especially Nourol who have put months of hardwork just to make it a night I will remember. Girl I can never thank you enough and one of my many regrets was to let you know that it is all wasted. So sorry.

I will never stop blaming myself for all that have gone wrong. But on the hindsight, just to survive I wil tell myself that 'ini semua dugaan Allah swt'. Ada hikmah nyer di sebalik tiap kejadian. Maybe happiness is not meant to be mine just yet. Maybe in years to come.

In the mean time, I am just happy knowing I have friends like you. And truthfully you are my only few surviving friends. And may we remain friends for as long as time permits. I love you guys...